Thor decided to take a well-deserved break from his fight against Ultron with the Avengers by taking a few beers at the New York bar.
He always drank the most intense and alcoholic beverages as he is a god of Asgard and he desired to show himself off to the other Mortal drinkers. Everyone there knew him and desired to take selfies with him and make him sign things.
Later on, after drinking way too much for his own good, he met with Scott which was sitting alone on a table, confused and lonely. Of course Thor was drunk so he told him.
Thor
Hello, Rat!
Scott turned to look at him, enraged at what he heard.
Scott
I'm not a rat, you idiot, I'm a raccoon!
Scott stands up, clenching his fists.
Thor
Well, you look like one, boy!
Everyone backs away as they know that a fight is about to take place.
Scott takes his pulverizing gun and charges it on Thor.
Thor laughs at him and Scott shoots him, but he blocks the plasma with his hammer. He is also wearing his sun lava armor.
Thor
YOU DARE MESS WITH THOR!
Scott
I AIN'T SCARED OF YOU!
Thor throws his hammer towards Scott.
Scott just barely manages to dodge it.
Scott
I’ll show you!
He tries to lift the hammer, but can’t. He tries for several seconds, but starts to get tired and still has no success.
Scott
Ugh! Uh… you know what!? I don’t need a freaking hammer to beat you! I didn’t want this weird old hammer anyway!
He rushes up and kicks Thor in the face.
Thor
That was a lucky blow!
Scott
Oh, yeah?! Well, now that you don’t have your hammer-
Thor’s hammer magically flies back to him and he catches it.
Scott
Dang it! Well, it still doesn’t matter! I’ll mop the floor with you, old man!
He rushes up and manages to scratch Thor in the face. Thor hits him with his arm and knocks him to the ground. They prepare to brawl some more when they suddenly notice a woman watching and jotting something down in a notepad.
Thor
Who are you?
Writer
I’m a fan fiction writer! I’m taking notes for when I write my romantic fan-fiction about you two!
Thor and Scott stare for a minute.
Thor
GET OUT!
Scott
GET OUT OF HERE!
Both Thor and Scott
GET OUT! GET THE BLAZES OUT!
The woman blushes and rushes out in embarrassment.
Thor
Yeah, get on out!
Scott
Bye!
They both relax for a moment.
Thor
What were we- oh, now I remember!
Scott
Yeah, I do too! Come on!
Thor crushes the floor with his hammer and lightning falls on Scott, electrocuting him.
Scott now stands on all fours. Some of his fur has been burnt off and smoke comes out of him.
A few moments after he surprises Thor by shooting his hammer into ashes.
Scott
Now it is time... to give up!
Thor
NO WAY!
Thor jumps on Scott and punches his face 3 times, but Scott doesn't give up no matter how tired he becomes. He kicks him in the nuts and Thor screams in pain.
Scott jumps on Thor and begins hitting him, but Thor manages to grab a bar stool and get up. He throws Scott off him and then throws the bar stool at him, just barely missing him. He throws more bar stools, forcing Scott to dodge some and destroy others with his gun.
Scott
Enough of this! Say hello to my little friend!
A baby Groot pops out of his pocket.
Baby Groot
I am Groot! (Hi!)
He spits seeds into Thor's face, causing him discomfort and distracting him. Scott then whacks him with a bar stool.
Scott
HOW'S THAT!?
Thor, with a bloody nose, spits on the floor.
Thor
If you think a mere bar stool to the face will stop me, think again!
He approaches Scott, but slips on the wet seeds the baby Groot had spat at him earlier. He falls and hits his head on the jukebox. He falls to the floor and doesn't move.
Scott
Come on! Let's finish this!
Thor doesn't move.
Scott
Um... Thor?
Baby Groot
I am Groot? (What happened?)
Scott checks Thor's pulse and realizes he's dead.
Scott
Uh, oh... Not again!
Scott and the baby Groot awkwardly leave.